The Crab Mentality

Some people cannot stand to see another person succeed because your success forces them to confront their own lack of courage. Your ambition becomes a mirror, and they do not like what they see staring back at them.

So they criticize you. They question you. They laugh at your dreams. They tell you why you cannot do it—even when they have never accomplished anything themselves.

There is an old story about a man who was standing near an owl perched on a branch. The man studied the owl and began criticizing it.

“That owl isn’t stuffed properly,” he said. “Its head is twisted. Its body isn’t positioned correctly. Its feathers are all wrong. If you couldn’t stuff an owl better than that, you have no business being in the taxidermy business!”

Then the owl moved.

The man had been criticizing a living owl.

And that is how some people operate. They are so quick to criticize what they do not understand that they never stop to ask whether they are even looking at the situation correctly.

When people try to talk you out of your dreams, understand what is really happening. Sometimes they are not trying to save you from failure. They are trying to save themselves from having to confront their own fear.

Your courage reminds them of their fear.

Your discipline reminds them of their excuses.

Your progress reminds them of their stagnation.

And your success reminds them that they had opportunities they were too afraid to pursue.

This is what I call the crab mentality.

There are crabs that, individually, are capable of climbing out of a trap. One crab can escape. But put several crabs together in that same trap, and something changes.

When one crab begins climbing toward freedom, the others pull it back down.

It climbs.

They pull.

It climbs again.

They pull again.

Rather than allowing one crab to escape, the others keep it trapped with them.

Think about that.

The crab does not have to be defeated by the trap. Sometimes it is defeated by those trapped inside it.

And too often, human beings do the same thing.

When somebody decides to go back to school, somebody says, “Why are you wasting your time?”

When somebody starts a business, somebody says, “That business is never going to work.”

When somebody decides to move forward in life, somebody says, “You think you’re better than everybody now?”

When somebody begins to dream bigger, somebody tries to make them feel foolish for dreaming at all.

Why?

Because some people would rather have you struggle beside them than succeed beyond them.

But we must reject that mentality.

When one of us climbs, we should not pull them back. We should reach up and help them climb higher.

When one person gets the degree, help somebody else get theirs.

When one person starts the business, teach somebody else what you learned.

When one person breaks through the door, hold that door open for the next person.

When one person escapes the trap, don't drag them back into it—follow them out.

Jay-Z said in Public Service Announcement, “I could blame my environment, but there ain't no reason why I be buying expensive chains.”

That line hits hard because it speaks to personal responsibility.

Yes, the crab mentality is real.

Yes, people will sometimes try to keep you small.

Yes, some people will criticize what they don't understand.

But we also have to be honest with ourselves.

Sometimes negativity feels good.

Sometimes jealousy feels good.

Sometimes tearing somebody else down gives us a temporary feeling of power because we don't have the courage to build ourselves up.

But there is no victory in keeping everybody in the cage with you.

The goal should not be to make sure nobody gets out. The goal should be to make sure everybody has a chance to escape.

So dream.

Build.

Read.

Learn.

Work.

Rise.

And when they tell you that you cannot do it, remember the owl.

Maybe they are criticizing you because they have mistaken a living dream for a dead one.

Do not let somebody else's limited vision become the prison for your unlimited potential.

And when you finally climb out of that cage, don't forget those still inside.

Reach back. Pull somebody up.

Because true success is not just escaping the trap.

True success is helping somebody else escape it too.